VUDU Marketing is an SEO Firm that believes privacy is an illusion, albeit a comforting one. Like a rabbit’s foot, or a four leaf clover. It doesn’t really do much, but hey, we feel better having it, so yeah.
We will collect and use information through our web site in the ways disclosed in this statement. And maybe in other ways, who knows. Probably not, since we’re not really into the whole hoarding thing, even if it’s just data.
This statement applies solely to information collected at VUDU Marketing’s website. What other folks do in their own homes/businesses/countries/man caves/bat mobiles/saunas/hot air balloons is their problem, not ours.
Part I. Information Collection
VUDU Marketing collects information through our web site through the use of various forms. We do not verify the accuracy of this information, that’s your job. Blergh, information verification, sounds bloody tedious. Have fun with that.
The information is collected voluntarily (we assume nobody is holding you hostage and forcing you to fill web forms, but if they are, that really sucks), and is optional to receive services from VUDU Marketing (wait, what? How the hell can we provide you with services if you don’t contact us? Silly lawyers).
Anywho, you reach out, we reply…maybe, but not always. It depends (doesn’t it always?)
We probably most likely almost definitely won’t then add you to some annoying mailing list, though if you become a client, we’ll obviously be emailing back and forth a bit, so there’s that.
We also collect information through the use of various web analytics packages, such as Google Analytics, Facebook and Twitter pixels, etc. For details on what those companies track and how they may use your data, please refer to their privacy policies and T&Cs (and good luck reading those beastly billion word dry as sand novel length pages, gag).
To determine the various tools we use (they change periodically), you can use a tool such as BuiltWith.com to scan our site. Maintaining a running list ourselves would be exhausting, so that’s not gonna happen. Nope nope nope.
If you are in the EU, BE THEE AWARE:
We probably aren’t, and really have zero desire to be, fully GDPR compliant, because pop-ups and extra form fields are really fucking annoying. If you’re in the EU, please don’t use this site, don’t fill out our forms, and maybe tell your governing bodies their rules are asinine. You’ve been warned, alerted, notified, served, and any other synonym you care to inject here, sorry not sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If you are in the EU, and choose to use this site or fill a form, doing so will be considered consent to use whatever data you share and whatever data our analytics tools collect as we see fit. K Thanks Bye.
If this doesn’t float your boat, you’re always welcome to use a carrier pigeon instead, with a self-destructing note written on flash paper, if you’re terribly worried about your name and email address. We might decide to keep the pigeon though, squab is yummy.
Part II. Information Usage.
The information collected by VUDU Marketing will be used for stuff, if we get around to it. Users who provide information will may or may not receive confirmation that the information was received, depending on the receptiveness of the receiver (if the information sent was not deemed spam…and let’s face it, a LOT of form fills are spam, assholes), and will receive a response from VUDU Marketing concerning SEO services if we feel a response is warranted (see above; they’re usually not…but if you seem legit and serious and stuff, we’ll probably reply, unless we’re really busy, which we usually are because hey, we’re awesome, and people like getting awesome work from awesome companies).
We’ll like, try really hard to reply though. For reals.
Information gathered might also be used to improve our website and our marketing efforts (though we don’t do a whole lot of either, because that shit is expensive).
Usage by the providers of the various tools and analytics packages we use are covered by their individual privacy policies and T&Cs. Because seriously, who has any fucking clue how those companies use stuff? We doubt even they do. Congress sure doesn’t know WTF is going on, though I guess that isn’t saying much.
We will not share data with anyone outside of our organization, business partners, and as needed providers of tools and services needed to operate our business, without your express permission.
I mean seriously, why would we? Sharing data takes time and effort. Double ugh.
And just to be thorough for you EU folks, let’s reiterate:
We probably aren’t, and really have zero desire to be, properly GDPR compliant, because pop-ups and extra form fields are really fucking annoying, and so are anal retentive regulations. If you’re in the EU, go away, the wizard can’t see you now, you’ve been warned…still sorry not sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh, and like basically every site on the interwebs, sometimes we link to other websites to better serve our visitors and clients. Please note: When you click on links to other web sites, we encourage you to read their privacy policies (or not, we don’t care). Their standards may differ from ours (they probably do, variety is the spice of life).
Part III. Problem Resolution
If problems arise, users may attempt to contact VUDU Marketing as set forth on the Contact Us web page. We may or may not reply, depending on how annoying we think you are.
Have a nice day! (Unless you’re in London, and then Pip Pip Cheerio cheers and enjoy the fog!)